do herpes really smell.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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