He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is Oprah even human
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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