Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
