you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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