i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
