I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
