Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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