sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
