Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
