He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
