matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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