Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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