I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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