i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
