And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
