She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
