just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
