If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
