curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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