Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
