yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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