Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
