Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
