I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
