At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The feeling are messing with the penis
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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