Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I could make wine with my vomit
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
