woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
