5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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