Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize