last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
