who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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