i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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