true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize