Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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