Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
