I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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