If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
