is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
