time to smoke my breakfast
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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