i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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