You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
