its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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