He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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