Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
