It's Friday. Sex?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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