is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Who did Billy Mays play for?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
