i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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