i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
