So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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