just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
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