Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize