I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
