Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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