I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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