Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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