My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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