Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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