Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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