i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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