His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
