Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
