You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
