Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
