I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
