My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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